You have been meaning to talk to someone for a while. Work is heavy, home is tense, or you are just not sleeping and not sure why. You have told yourself it is not that bad, that you will sort it out, that there are people worse off. Plenty of men have had exactly that conversation with themselves.
This post is about why that happens, what it looks like in the Australian numbers, and what starting actually involves. It is not a pep talk.
Important
InnerHub is not a crisis service. If you are in immediate danger, call 000. For support at any hour, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or MensLine Australia on 1300 78 99 78.
Short answer
Many men put off counselling because they expect to handle things alone, are unsure the problem is big enough, or do not know what a session involves. The Australian Bureau of Statistics found men were less likely than women to see a health professional for their mental health. On InnerHub you can book a 50-minute video session for $59.90 AUD with no referral and no waitlist, and stop whenever you like.
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Find a therapistDo fewer men see someone about their mental health?
Yes. The Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing 2020-22 found that 12.9% of males aged 16 to 85 saw a health professional for their mental health in the previous 12 months, compared with 21.6% of females.
The gap holds when you look only at people who were experiencing a mental disorder. The same ABS study found 36.4% of males with a 12-month mental disorder saw a health professional, compared with 51.1% of females.
Those numbers do not say men are fine. They say a large share of men who are struggling are not talking to anyone about it.
What actually stops men starting?
The honest answer is that it varies, and most of it is practical rather than dramatic. These are the reasons men commonly describe:
- "It's not bad enough." Counselling gets pictured as something for a crisis. It is also a place to think out loud about a relationship, a job, a move or a run of bad weeks.
- "I should be able to sort this out myself." Self-reliance is useful until the problem is one you cannot reason your way out of alone.
- Not knowing what happens. Will you be asked to lie on a couch and talk about your childhood? (No. See below.)
- Time and logistics. Driving to an appointment in work hours is a real barrier.
- Cost and waiting. A referral, a GP visit, then a wait is a lot of steps for something you were already unsure about.
This list comes from common experience rather than a single study, so treat it as a prompt for your own reasons, not a verdict.
What does a first session actually involve?
A first session is a conversation. You and your counsellor work out what you want to talk about, what you want to be different, and whether you click. You do not need a diagnosis, a polished explanation or the right words.
Most men find it helps to bring one concrete thing: a situation that keeps coming up, a decision you are stuck on, or a pattern you have noticed. Counselling gives you a regular hour where that is the agenda. It does not promise a particular outcome or timeframe, and a good practitioner will tell you plainly if what you are describing would be better supported by a GP or another service.
If you want a fuller picture, how it works walks through booking to session, and how to find a counsellor who is the right fit covers what to look for.
Is online counselling easier to start?
For many men, yes, because it removes several of the barriers above. InnerHub sessions are video calls from wherever you are, so there is no waiting room and no travel. There are no referral steps: you answer a short questionnaire, see practitioners matched to you, and book a time, often this week, including evenings. Sessions are 50 minutes and cost $59.90 AUD each, with no subscription.
InnerHub practitioners are experienced and qualified in their own countries. They are not AHPRA-registered, so sessions are not covered by Medicare. That is worth knowing before you book, and the pricing page sets out exactly what is included.
You can say whether you would prefer a male or female practitioner. Those who match are shown first, and others still appear underneath.
What kinds of things do men bring to counselling?
Anything, and often it starts as something other than "mental health". Common starting points include:
- work pressure that has stopped switching off at 17:00 (see stress and burnout counselling)
- tension or distance in a relationship (see relationship counselling)
- anger that feels bigger than the situation (see anger management counselling)
- a change such as separation, a job loss or a move
None of these needs a label before you book.
Are there free options too?
Yes, and they are worth using. MensLine Australia offers free phone and online counselling for men on 1300 78 99 78. Lifeline is on 13 11 14 at any hour. Your GP is also a good first call if you would like a health check alongside talking to someone.
Paid counselling is one option among these, useful mainly when you want a regular, scheduled conversation with the same person and do not want to wait.
Not sure where to start?
Take the two-minute quiz to see what kind of support fits, or read how matching works.
Take the quizWhat counselling cannot do
Counselling is a place to work through what you are carrying, with someone trained to listen. It does not replace a doctor. InnerHub practitioners work within their training and refer honestly: if what you are carrying needs a GP or specialist care, they will say so.
If you would like to try it, get matched with a therapist. You can read about the price on the pricing page first.
When to get help sooner
If you are in immediate danger, call 000. For support at any hour, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or MensLine Australia on 1300 78 99 78.
This article is general information for adults 18 and over. It is not clinical or medical advice, and not a substitute for professional care.
General information, not clinical or medical advice. For adults 18 and over. InnerHub is not a crisis service: in an emergency call 000, or Lifeline on 13 11 14.
