Low self-esteem and counselling, what it actually involves.

23 October 2026 · 6 min read

Most people with low self-esteem do not describe it that way. They say they are hard on themselves, or that they never feel quite good enough, or that a compliment slides straight off. They get the work done and keep going, and the voice in their head keeps commenting.

This guide explains what counselling for self-esteem involves, so you can decide whether it is what you are looking for.

What is low self-esteem?

Better Health Channel, run by the Victorian Government, defines self-esteem as your opinion of yourself. It says everyone lacks confidence sometimes, but people with low self-esteem are unhappy or unsatisfied with themselves most of the time.

The same page lists common signs. A person with low self-esteem may be extremely critical of themselves, downplay their positive qualities, judge themselves as inferior to their peers, put their achievements down to luck, and not believe a person who compliments them.

None of that is a diagnosis, and none of it means something is wrong with you. It describes a habit of thinking that most people recognise in themselves at some point.

Where does low self-esteem come from?

Better Health Channel lists several common causes, including critical parents or teachers in childhood, poor results at school, an ongoing stressful event such as a relationship breakdown or financial trouble, poor treatment from a partner or carer, and a long-term medical problem.

Often it is a mix, and you do not need to work out the cause before you start. Some people find the story behind the habit is where most of the relief comes from. Others prefer to stay with the present and the next small step. A good counsellor follows your lead.

What happens in self-esteem counselling?

Sessions are conversations, not exercises you are marked on. Over several weeks the work often moves through a few stages.

Noticing the inner critic

You and your counsellor look at what you say to yourself and when. "I always get it wrong." "They are only being nice." Hearing it spoken aloud to someone else often shows how harsh it is.

Testing what it says

Better Health Channel suggests that each time you criticise yourself, you stop and look for objective evidence that the criticism is true. Counselling gives you a person to do that with, which is easier than doing it alone at 02:00.

Making room for the good

Many people deflect praise automatically. Sessions can include noticing what you do well, accepting a compliment without arguing with it and keeping a short record of things that went fine.

Trying small things

Confidence tends to follow action. You might agree on one thing to try before next time: speaking up once in a meeting, saying no to a small request, or replying to an invitation you would usually dodge. The next session starts with how it went, including what was hard.

How is it different from confidence tips online?

A list of tips can be useful, and plenty of the advice is sound. The difference with counselling is that it is about you. Your counsellor hears the specific words you use, notices what you skip past and adjusts as you go. You are also accountable to a real person for the small steps, which many people find changes how likely they are to take them.

If you have tried affirmations or confidence tips and they felt hollow, that is a common reason people book.

How many sessions do people have?

There is no fixed number. Some people book a few sessions around a particular situation, such as starting a job, ending a relationship or becoming a parent. Others prefer a steady fortnightly hour for a few months.

On InnerHub you book one session at a time, so you can keep going, slow down or pause whenever it suits you. If your self-esteem is tangled up with relationships, our page on relationship counselling online covers that side. If worry is a big part of it, see anxiety counselling online.

How do you know it is helping?

Progress is rarely a straight line. Signs it is helping include:

• you notice the critical voice sooner, even if you cannot always switch it off
• you recover more quickly after a mistake
• you accept a compliment without explaining it away
• you do one or two things you had been avoiding

If none of that is shifting after a handful of sessions, say so. The approach may need adjusting, or a different counsellor may suit you better.

What does self-esteem counselling cost on InnerHub?

InnerHub charges one flat price of $59.90 AUD per 50-minute video session. There is no referral, no subscription and no waitlist. InnerHub counsellors are experienced and qualified in their own countries and are not AHPRA-registered, which is why sessions sit outside Medicare and no rebate applies. Every profile shows the qualification, the country it came from and years of practice before you book.

Our guide to what therapy costs in Australia sets the different options side by side, and pricing explains what is included.

When should you see a GP first?

Better Health Channel advises seeing your doctor if you are having trouble improving your self-esteem, or if low self-esteem is causing problems such as depression. Counselling can sit alongside that. InnerHub counsellors work within their training and refer honestly: if what you are carrying needs a doctor or specialist care, they will say so. They do not diagnose or give medication advice.

This is general information, not clinical or medical advice, and not a substitute for professional care.

General information, not clinical or medical advice. For adults 18 and over. InnerHub is not a crisis service: in an emergency call 000, or Lifeline on 13 11 14.